i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
