I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
