OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
