so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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