You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
