P.S. I can't hear my feet
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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