as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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