so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
