And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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