Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
