I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize