I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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