My friends, they love my intelligence
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
