Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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