Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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