I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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