if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
