He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
