Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i wish my penis had a tongue
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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