Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
