i just wanna soil my oats bro
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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