So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
