ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize