There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
