I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
