she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
