Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
