How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
