i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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