I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just had sex on a roof
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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