i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
