I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
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