we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
and you fell through a lawn chair
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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