Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
