Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
