Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
