we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
