He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
