On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
