just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
