Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
