I'm eating all of the evidence.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
