At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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