11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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