How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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