**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
