It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
