look no pants
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
did i just pee glitter
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
