youre lurking in front of me
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
