My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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