How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Randomize