You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
