How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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