Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
