we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
