____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
