Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
