How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
