Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
