he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
