i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
