It's like a parade of train wrecks.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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