Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
