No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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