Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
